Lucky 7

Yesterday was a momentous day. I turned @%$ years old and my kids kept asking me, Mom, how do you feel? The truth is, I feel good. I've had a difficult year, filled with bouts of grief and sadness, but yesterday was a day to celebrate. I had a birthday. My kids gave me a party and all four of them were home. My sister and her children came over and cooked. Stacy's an awesome personal chef and her kids are amazing cooks, too.

But the sweet part of yesterday was the fact that I fit into my birthday dress! Now that was icing on the cake. I'd bought this dress I don't know how many months ago and had to do a four-story dive just to get into it. But I thought this will be your birthday dress. So I started exercising, walking, hitting the gym and the weight machines and doing DVDs I'm sure nobody owns but me. Let me tell you, I wore that dress and I felt good. Hey, I could even sit down and eat in it too! Now that's awesome.

I got e-cards and emails, text messages and my brother and sisters called. I was blessed. The only sad moment was when I knew I wouldn't hear my mother's voice for the first time in @%$ years, but I closed my eyes and I remembered her voice from every one of the prior years and my heart said, this is good.

Today the dress hangs in my closet, waiting for the next wear, and this morning I took me and my happy birthday self to the chiropractor. Whatever. I needed an adjustment.

Last night we couldn't find any candles for the cake and my kids were all flummoxed as to what to do. We finally dug one up. A 7. Lucky 7. I proudly planted it in the middle of my cake and we lit it up. To the most horrible rendition of Happy Birthday I've ever heard, my family regaled me, as I laughed my head off. I realized right then there is happiness in every day. My niece Kacy did the honors and helped me blow out lucky 7, and then we feasted on yellow cake with blue and white frosting. Delicious. Life is delicious.<

Just Being Me,
Carmen

The Countdown begins: Thirty days Til Tour

Hi Friends,
Yesterday I saw Berta Platas at the GRW meeting, and I asked her had she started working out in preparation for the Femme Fantastik Tour. She gave me this quizzical look. No, was her cryptic reply. I told her no offense, but Lori and Nina get sick on tour. They eat the wrong food and the next thing you know, you're carrying Nina's bag of 2000 shoes and dragging Lori on a stretcher to the nearest ER for an allergy scare. ReShonda, well, she can't stop having babies, and Trisha, hmm, she's just special. I'm the only healthy one, I told her, sucking in one cheek. That usually means I'm lying, but, whatever. I suggested that a couple chin ups, some bicep and tricep curls and jogging for endurance would be in order. Berta, for the record, didn't believe me. (Her mistake)

In all seriousness, in less than 30 days our tour will begin. Last year we had allergy scares, bootleg limousine rides, book and author no shows and funny radio interviews, but in the midst of it all we were honored to meet the service men and women who make it possible for us to sleep at night. We loved meeting their families on church Sunday's, their children on cheerleading and haircut Saturday's, and their mother's and father's shopping in the PX on Friday's. It was our pleasure to shake their hands, give a hug of encouragement and share a laugh with these brave young people. Selling our books was a gift to us, not them. I gained so much. Humility. Honor. Pride. I learned from these people about the meaning of bravery.
This year we're bigger and we're bringing a few guest authors with us. So get ready because here we come. We'll see you in a few weeks!
Carmen

Work, work, work. . .

Heeey,

I've got so much work to do, I think my work is having babies! So why am I blogging when I should be working? Because I said I would get better about blogging and saying what's going on. Between going to school, yes, I'm a Master's program at FDU, writing not one, not two, not three, but four books, homework, teenagers who have jobs and no cars, teenagers who eat more than vegetables and fruit(I hate that they're not vegetarians like me), I'm still grieving Mom and Grandma's passing--but getting better, gearing up for our annual Femme Fantastik Tour, bills that sit and wait, and other miscellaneous stuff I can't do anything about, AND I don't have another outside paying job besides writing to offset this life--well, you know the single mama song. I have more days at the end of the month than dollars, and the stress of it all makes me want to Hollaaaaa!!!

But--
I am a lot of things. Loved. Blessed. Thankful. Tired. A little sad. A little scared. Humble. Honored. Grateful.
To be who I am. Have what I have. Do what I do. Be where I am.

A friend offered me a basketful of poor baby's today. As useless as butterflies, so I smiled and walked away. All I could think of is what it must have been like for our ancestors to plow fields, side by side. Swinging and chopping. All day. Everyday. How if one faltered and had to lean a bit, the person next to them took up the slack, and after a minute everybody went back to toiling their own row.
Today I needed two things. A cool breeze, and someone holding each wrist so I could lean.

JBM--Just Being Me,

Carmen